Neurotic Thursday

As I sat in my office cubicle, randomly surfing the net, I heard an acoustic version of "With You" being played nearby. I stood up to find the source of the music. A neighbor was playing a clip from youtube. I thought it was Sam Milby. Turned out to be an unknown Caucasian dude. Sounded pretty good.

***

I just got back from performance assessment with my boss. I must say I am quite relieved. And utterly grateful. And yet the neurotic in me refuses to let me celebrate too long. What of next year's appraisal? What happens when my show finally airs or we start taping and they figure out that I'm not all that after all? The voice in my head keeps insisting that I am not worthy. What a way to quash var-pay joy.

But at least, I'll get to pay off my credit card bill na! Or kahit half man lang. And my pending Globe bills (yeay I'll be able to get my old number back!). I'll buy an electric fan, pay my dad for what I charged to his Visa, maybe get a facial, manies and pedies, a full tank of gas, shopping, groceries... (as if magkakasya lahat! Nangangarap pa ko bumili ng condo at mag-invest sa mutual funds, at bumiyahe's magbakasyon, at paayos ang oto ko, at makapag-ipon. Sheesh.)

Hence the perpetual dilemma: how to survive the demands of the job without slacking and yet making full use of all available time and resources and possibly still finding alternate sources of income to augment current cash flow to maintain standards of living and concurrently have the luxury of a comfortable lifestyle.

What good does thinking do? Sometimes it feels like I just keep turning things around and around in my head and yet I keep seeing the same thing. I need an epiphany. Or a mirror. Or a surgeon. Or LSD.

My Secret Identity

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 80% Spider-Man 75% Supergirl 65% Iron Man 60% Green Lantern 55% The Flash 45% Catwoman 45% Hulk 40% Robin 37% Superman 35% Batman 30%

You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Labor Day Morning

i was considering blogging about work concerns, since it is labor day and all, but it is 5:17 am and i am giving in to the tiredness borne from working straight from 2:30 pm til past one in the morning. for some reason even just a couple of hours past my required eight weigh extra heavily on my shoulders...literally. it sits, irremovable, between the blades of my back, in a spot that i am unable to reach to massage myself with equally weary hands.

but at least...i get labor day off! or rather, i can work from home, or wherever it is i choose to spend the holiday. hopefully all i'll need to do is make one call to follow up on my script. perhaps i shall do it while getting manies and pedies. or before i go for a dip in the pool. or on my way to the mall. or in the comfort of my very own room whilst i tidy up a bit. there's such comfort in the slow, irregular unraveling of a totally unplanned day.

but first, a good night's sleep.