you think you know
since you've prepared for this for so long
many years spent
thinking
analyzing each move
each moment contemplated on
each pawn carefully positioned
to result in a victory
painstakingly planned
to win a battle so sweetly
so easily
and yet when the time comes
for the title to be claimed
all is not as you had expected it to be.
all things are in place
nothing else is left to be had.
or so it seems.
and everything is just as you thought it would be.
and yet nothing is as you want it to be.
the foundation has been dutifully laid out
the stage is set.
and yet the scene is not ripe
for the grand presentation night.
and the laurels you had wished for
are not the ones you had thought you were sitting upon.
and for a moment you are lost.
and for a moment you forget who you are.
and how far you have traveled to reach this point.
and how hard you have toiled to see so much.
and how many other moments like this were spent
cherished
worshipped
worshipping
a false god
a wrong pretense
a misguided song.
and now you are at a loss.
for nothing has prepared you
for this one
solitary moment
this shadow, this flicker
in your now questionable existence.
and you find repose in a world
that offers a different perspective
no matter how surreal
or seemingly insignificant
because its supposed abstract reality
makes an odd sort of sense
and resounds comfortingly
in your tired soul.
and here you find
that you can relax your grip on what remains on your
so-called sanity
and just
let
go